oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
