Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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