so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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