In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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