I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Randomize
