This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
