I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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