Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
