Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
