just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
