I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Randomize
