Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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