is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
