woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
