i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I need a beard to bite.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize