hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
