I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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