if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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