feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
