I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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