so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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