I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm bleeding and have questions
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
