my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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