I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
