My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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