i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
