My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
