what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
