remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
