Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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