would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
