I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
