Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
