She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
