Quick, to the slutcave!
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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