Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
