I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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