I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
