She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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