why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
