I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
