At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
