Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How does one acquire holy water?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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