At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
