Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
