What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
