so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
