There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize