Say something about gay babies.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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