bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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