david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
