Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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