She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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