do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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