Ketchup is God's man juice
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
