just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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