let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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