Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
