So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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