i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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