bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My Higher Power is John Stamos
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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