Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
