It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
